Shut Down

Memorial Day in our home is usually associate with work.  Not labor, but a little work in the kitchen.  Today, we will be gathering with family and the family of a close friend to BBQ at our place.  So, I woke up this morning with a zillion things to do including studying for two finals, finishing two projects, and getting things ready for our 2 p.m. reunion.  I ask my husband to come with me to the store (he hardly ever does).  All is fine until we are on our way back home when he gets a call on his Nextel line from Mexico.  It was a lady who had also called him over the weekend while we headed towards Tijuana.  She was insisting on him meeting their appointment to look at some property.  I was already annoyed at the fact that she spoke to him in a too “friendly” voice during our trip.  I am not the jealous type.  But, Miguel just kept giving her the run-around and frankly, I was more upset that he did not mentioned these plans than him talking to her.  We usually never get into each other’s face regarding our friendships or acquaintances.  So, in between the beeping of the radios and the back and forth conversation, I meddled my spoon to tell him to not give her the run around and to just tell her that he would call her…That was a big mistake!  He politely finished his conversation (at his timing I might add) and told me to never ever do that again.  I acted as if I knew not what he was talking about.  But, he was upset and demand me to avoid butting in with his conversations.  He said he did not do that with me so, I should not do the same.  All the same, I kept quiet.  The silence from my side of the truck was as cold as ice.  He kept going.  He had to added how I did what my mom had done “the other day”, and how I ALWAYS do this…meddle in his stuff.  I kept shutting down.   He wanted me to talk after all the things he had said.  He was using an “outside voice”.  And I was getting back by not talking.  I stayed quiet.  But, inside, I was shutting down because shutting down is easier to take instead of dealing with the pain and confronting the disagreement.  His words cause a tiny worm-like pain inside my heart.  He was calmed by the time we got to our driveway (its about 300ft long).  He finally ends with, “Amor, you know that I love you. It’s just that I don’t like it when you do that.”

Could he not have said this instead?


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Simply Me
    May 26, 2008 @ 18:13:12

    Do you ever do things you know werent right? Like you just reacted wrong at the time and later reflected on your actions and saw you messed up? Maybe that was what he did? At least he tried to make it right. Happy Memorial Day…


  2. tlc4women
    May 26, 2008 @ 21:05:54

    Hmmm, I’m trying to think about how I would have responded. My husband talks to women all the time and most times it doesn’t even enter my brain as a thought but I believe in a woman’s gut and the fact that men don’t always know what’s up.

    If in fact, there are no accidents then this happened the way that it should. You reacted in jealously for a reason and he reacted with indignation for a reason. So your conversation and reconciliation should be about why you both reacted the way you did. It will require introspection. I know you’ll both do the right thing. The goal is to make it go away, don’t let that worm turn to a snake. Passion has a way of being great in both directions! Love ya!


  3. kingsview
    May 26, 2008 @ 21:10:37

    Thanks! I will introspect on it!


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