I Hid In My Bathroom

Sunday evening, after a long day of service, I rested on our hammock. Everyone was outside on chairs just enjoying the evening. I noticed that Miguel and I were in a weird mood. Just days ago, we spent our anniversary together, and had a wonderful time. I am in finals week, and a bit overwhelmed with projects to turn in. He has been tired, and a bit distant. I am always on the look out for signs that might alert me. So, I take the initiative to do some one-to-one time. It went “OK”, but still felt unease. He wanted to go see a movie, but I was really not up to it. I too was tired. I really never back out on his movies, even if they are bloody action ones. But this one was a different case. I did not want to go see it because I just did not want to expose myself to such things. I suggested he go with one of his guy friends. He was not pleased. Then he made a personal comment, and that was enough to heat up the moment. I gave him a stare of hurt and “I can’t believe you just said that”. I got up, and went to my bathroom. I was there for 55 minutes. Yes, I used the facilities, but mostly I just played my keyboard (my walk-in closet is attached to my bathroom). I had to go and work out what I was thinking and wanting to do.

I was ready to put up a fight. My mind remembered his other rude comment from last (which I obviously did not let go if I could still remember…it hurt). I was thinking, “What is up with us?” I remembered when we first met, and how I took a solemnly vow to make him happy at the age of 16. I had a decision to make at that moment: Would I keep this hurtful behavior going OR Would I put a stop to it at least from my side?

The bathroom is my perfect hideaway: It is the place where I go discard the things that my body finds not beneficial, it is the place where I go to wash away the dirt of the day, it the place where water renews/refreshes my body. So, I decided to do the same with what was bothering me. I prayed that God would help me discard those things (comments, hurts, incidents) that were of no benefit for our marriage and ultimately for myself. I decided to wash away the contamination from my heart with the Blood of Christ. I decided to renew and refresh my love and my life with His presence and His words.

Fifty minutes into my “cleanse”, Miguel calls me to see what I was doing. (Now, remember that he is just steps away from our room, he is outside on the porch still). My first though was, “It took him this long to notice that I was gone? Why did he not get up and come to me? Why does he not listen to me?” I did not go with my thoughts. I just told him that I was in the bathroom. And that was that. I came out showered, cleaned up, and ready to start that evening new.

Do You Have A Hideaway Place?

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Simply Me
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 22:29:04

    We all need that hideaway place once in a while. Usually mine is in my car, or in my room (when its vacant). Before it was my corner of the closet. It helps when its just you and God. When you just let go of everything you have bottled up inside. Its the place where we allow God to finally take control of our feelings, emotions, and angers (etc.). Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

  2. ges
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 11:01:55

    Awww my place of peace and where I collect myself for some reason is also the bathroom…usaully long shower. For some reason I seem to just think things through and let it all out…and of course come out calm and my thoughts have cleared!

    Reply

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