I Slept with a Beautiful Woman

Last night, I slep with a beautiful woman.  She has a light complexion, green eyes, short natural black hair, and is going to be 60 years old this year.  The persistant tone in her voice exposed her vurnability and the feeling of loneliness.  I was too busy with my head between a book to notice her face in the far end of the dark kitchen hallway.  The tilt in her head and the slouched motionless poise in her silloutte seemed to reach out to me to the corner of the living room in a faint act of desperation.  My indifference to these subtle cues led a  “hmm…I can’t…”  She stood in the obscurity of the night under the doorway that connected her side with mine.  Seconds later, a voiceless sigh on her behalf takes her to give her back on me and leave closing the door behind her.  I take the time to look up raising my right eyebrow expecting to see her there.  But, she is gone.  “She is lonely, huh?” (to one of our roommates).  I have obligations in my own room.  Still, the heaviness of her heart weighted over my conscious.  She needs me…actually, she needs him.  Fifteen minutes later, I call it a night, and walk passed the shadowy kitchen hallway, pass the connecting doorway to her dimly lighted bedroom.  She is reading from her Book of Life.  I slip into what has  been his side of the bed for over 43 years.  She fluffs my pillow and offers extra room.  She says she will turn off the light to cause a less of an inconvenience to me.  I tell her all is okay.  Still, I keep to the far right facing her back.  Moments later, I hear her softly sob and gently take her hand to her face as when one wipes a tear from the inner corner of an eye.  She needs his arms not mine.  With an ackward feeling of not being enough, I slide my right arm under hers and draw near.  She squeezes my arm with hers and lets out a sighed sob as if she was choking in her own tears.  “I miss him so much, you know. (sob) He had another relapse this evening.  His voice was not the same (sob)….”  “He will be okay.  We have to believe that he will be okay…” I responded.  “Thank you for sleeping with me.”  I hugged her tenderly….”Mom, I love you.  You are not alone.” 

The rest of the night, I pondered on how beautiful she is and in all the things she has taught me about life, marriage, and about God.  She’s taught me that a strong woman knows the value of endurance and self-motivation.  She’s taught me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that beauty is only valuable if it serves a dignified purpose (even if it is as simple as putting a smile on someone’s face).  She has taught me that the procedural actions in church are the least important actions in a person’s spiritual life.  Loving God in the secret place will disclose a godly woman that loves God by loving people.  Things are just things.  God is everything. 

She is beautiful Inside and Out!  (Et oma…)


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thewordofme
    Apr 07, 2009 @ 17:20:27

    I cried…my mom died when I was 13…this made me really miss her.


  2. kingsview
    Apr 07, 2009 @ 23:47:01

    Aww…you’re welcome. My mom and I have gone through a lot. Cancer has threatened her life several times, but God has been good and kept her by my side extra years. My dad’s health is very frail at this time. He is out of the country getting treatment.
    I pray you have comfort, and your comment helps me value her even more.



  3. Simply Me
    Apr 08, 2009 @ 23:37:33

    I have noticed the same. Every time I see her, I see her beauty inside and out. I hope she feels less lonely with us here at home. I love her!


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