Time Flies

It’s about four months into 2016, and the cliché expression rings true. There’s so much to do and so much more to be as we tackle the challenges before us. Time flies. It sure does, and they sure exist. Huh? Have you ever had those lingering pesky thoughts that come and annoy you in the les opportune times? They’re the flies that buzz  and make you throw your hands in the air smacking all but that two-winged insect. They usually are found around old decomposing items and in one’s house, they come in when there’s an opening. Let’s get rid of our “TIME FLIES” and leave no room for regrets. Out with the old. Close open wounds. Let time take its course without the distraction of old buzzing things.cropped-b-in-eyes.jpg

Confession #3 of 2014

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Something is UP! 2013 for me was a year of sowing and working under the brutal sun rays of trials I thought to be unbearable. Still, the hope of all this having a greater purpose peeked into the lowest of my meadows.  All year I lived with a feeling of “something is up”…”I can’t quite put my finger on it”.  But, sure enough it hit me like a tidal wave crashing my most sacred walls of protection.  Those who knew me well knew I was not well at all.  Getting up was like pushing through layered bars of unmerciful steel.  Again, my spirit whispered, “something is up”.  While it all seemed like a never-ending story of a roller coaster of emotions, I later realized something was up. And, while I spent almost half a year looking down and around, I entered 2014 accepting something is up all along.  I’d like to confess today, SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE UP…I must remember to not let them carry me away into an aimless unknown or taint the beautiful portrait God is painting of my life with unresolved fly-a-ways.  No. When something is up I need to check my spirit.  I need to look up first.

Confession #1 of 2014

Confession #2 of 2014…I had to google how to adjust the settings of my own blogs!

Wings In Motion

Fear has kept me from blogging. 

What? Yes. Fear of being ungrammatical. Fear of writing too much. Fear of writing too little. Fear of not having any readers. Fear of having the “certain readers”. Fear of MY OWN VOICE might be the root of all this.

You see, I’ve lacked to accept the fact that my voice carries all those elements.  It is many times not grammatically correct.  It sometimes does say too much while other times it does not say enough or anything at all.  Sometimes, I stand alone when I lift my voice.  Other times, I say things “certain people” misinterpret or add to my message. But, all in all, it is MY OWN VOICE. Unique. Beautiful. Eclectic. God-given, God-created, God-leading.  

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Confession #1 of 2014

Fear has kept me from blogging. 

What? Yes. Fear of being ungrammatical. Fear of writing too much. Fear of writing too little. Fear of not having any readers. Fear of having the “certain readers”. Fear of MY OWN VOICE might be the root of all this.

You see, I’ve lacked to accept the fact that my voice carries all those elements.  It is many times not grammatically correct.  It sometimes does say too much while other times it does not say enough or anything at all.  Sometimes, I stand alone when I lift my voice.  Other times, I say things “certain people” misinterpret or add to my message. But, all in all, it is MY OWN VOICE. Unique. Beautiful. Eclectic. God-given, God-created, God-leading.  

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Augēre in 2010

Sometimes, all we need is some fresh air, an open mind, and some warmth in our lives to make way for a new perspective.  Sometimes, our world seems upside-down; but it’s not.  Just tilt your head a little.  Choose to see things in a different light, and you will see the beauty of what’s laying before you.

After a long break from “blogging” here and taking a more primitive style of expressing my thoughts (pencil and notebook), I’m ready to share with you this season of my life.  But first ….

August 1997- First Fall Semester at CSU Fresno

December 1997- Dropped Fall Semester due to an unexpected Gynecologic hemorrhage while studying on the 3rd floor of the university’s library.

June 1998- Two Summer Classes at Merced Community College

August 2005- May 2007- Full-time Classes at Merced Community College

August 2007- First Semester at CSU Stanislaus

June 2010- Graduation!!! (B.A. in Liberal Studies with a concentration on TESOL) and most of my Credential Program Courses finished.

Now here we are in August again, except it is the year 2010.  I start school in 22 days.  I am now almost 33 years old, and 15 years after graduating from high school, I am still not letting go of that dream to be an educated women with a voice.  A voice that not only this world can hear, a voice that she follows herself.

Did you know, according to word-origin.com, the month of August was named by the Romans.  The Senate granted Caius Julius Caesar Octavian the honorary title Augustus in 27 BC.  Its connotation was ‘imperial majesty’, and this word was used as an adjective to describe magnificence.  It is said that the word “august” may have derived from the verb augēre (increase).

May you Increase and Prosper in every area of your life!

(3 John 1:2)

When God’s Not In Control

I cannot just say that God is in control of everything and expect things to “work out on their own”.  He is in control in our lives when we allow Him to be.  Allowing Him does not mean just saying it but acting in a manner that proves as evidence that our decisions are making room for God to move in the way He longs to move in our lives.  He has ordained me to take charge of many matters.  Genesis speaks of a human race that was ordained into power and authority over this earthly kingdom.  You see…when God speaks, action inevitably follows that word.  We, on the other hand do not reflect such characteristic.  But, we should.  We should be a people of word and action.  The bible is full of scriptures that encourage us to trust God.  Trusting involves action, not just words.  As we take action, we can trust that things WILL work out (not on their own) because He is with us.  When we can’t make it in the natural, then He comes in with His supernatural expertise.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3,7

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right handIsaiah 41:10

Possibility knocks at my front door everyday.  The impossible I take to His doorsteps through prayer.

Have you taken action today?  Have you prayed yet?

The Beach, A Camera, & No Pictures

Over three years without a vacation.  How did that happen?  Hmm…I love what happened today though.  I saw my husband in need of a friend, and I needed more time to finish school work, office work, and ministry work.   We are going through the Love Dare at our church right now and last week’s dare called for a candlelight dinner and all, but we had to skip ours.  It bugged me that so many times I overwhelmed myself with secondary things and put my priority in my relationship on the side.  Not today.  I did not second guess my gut feeling and quickly made arrangements to put EVERYTHING and EVERYONE aside to spend the late afternoon with my husband.  I told him to get ready because I was taking him out of the storm into Monterrey Bay.  He asked about what I had to do (my class, etc); I said, “It’s you babe!” We drove out of town around 1 pm.  It was pouring but that’s okay because all he needed was me.  We drove quietly as we listened to a CD I recorded for him earlier that morning.  I held his right hand all the way pass Casa De Fruta and into Hollister.  I stared at him from the corner of my left eye, and thought, “No one but God knows this man.  I love that he has integrity.  Others murmur and he keeps quiet.  Others do him wrong and he still holds on.  Behind close doors he justifies while I analyze.  He feels betrayed and I feel happy that we are in it together. I Love Him So.”

We did not take a picture of each other to remember this day, but it doesn’t matter because our hearts made a memory that will not be erased.

I could have told him with words.  I could have written a card.   I could given him a gift.  I could have said how much he means to me and how his integrity inspires me.  But as Vygotsky said, “Action according to rules begins to be determined by ideas, not by objects.”  So it is the thought that counts, but in this case…my thoughts are only mine, kept inside of me.  Internalization of language will lead to action.  My love for him led me to demonstrate it in a tangible way and most importantly in a language HE understood.

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