Delilah Phobia

You’re probably wondering what this is about, huh? Well, it’s explained on Day 3.  So, hold on a bit.  Today, fasting was easier and less tempting on chocolate…though I still crave it.


Day Two:  The Flattering Tongue

“These people…flatter others to get favors in return.” (Jude 1:16 NLT)

What exactly is flattering? I always thought it was a good thing?  I, mean, we say, “I’m flattered to meet you”.  Right?  Pegues defines flattery as “a lie covered in a bed of flowery words.”  Oh…ok. So flattering (insincere compliment) for the mere reasons of gaining someone’s favor is not ok.  Sometimes the favor we seek is neither materialistic nor tangible; it’s a need to feel accepted.  This is a whole new lesson for we know that our acceptance lies in the hands of our Creator who has loved us even before the foundation of Earth.  What greater love can we long for?  Pergues says to the flatterer, “the flowere of your words will soon wilt and loose all impact.”  God compliments his children; His words are eternal and truth.  The Bible says that He surrounds the righteous with favor (Psalms 5:12).  Job serves as an example to this area in our lives: “I will partiality to no one, nor will I flatter any man; for if I were skilled in flattery, my Maker would soon take me away.” (Job 32:21-22)

Day Three:  The Manipulating Tongue

“Then Delilah pouted, “How can you say you love me when you don’t confide in me?  You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!” (Judges 16:15 NLT)

“Manipulation is a crafty use of the tongue and a self-perpetuating vice.”  Gosh, I don’t think this one needs much clarification.  Men and women are both good at putting one’s tongue to use when in need of fulfilling one’s self-serving motives.  We pout as Delilah, to bring the guilt trip over our spouse.  We use the “poor me” mentality scheme to victimize ourselves before their eyes.  “If you love me, as you say you do, then why…”  The  list goes on.  Yesterday, I was upset that my parking pass ($100 value) was missing after Miguel had driven the car.  I called his cell; no answer.  huh!  I called again.  I was halfway my commute to school, and could not go back, and had no cash to pay for metered or for a one day pass parking!  Finally he answers, and I asked in a snappy voice.   He knew nothing about it.  I kept looking at my rear view mirror where I was sure to have seen it last.  Then I give in to the guilt-trip voice: “Miguel…I can’t go back…what do you mean you didn’t see it? You cleaned out the car before leaving to LA this weekend…YOU SAID SO YOURSELF!…You know how much I this cost…I can’t buy another one…I deposited my check to cover my tithes and help you pay our PG&E…just forget it…I’ll deal with it!…bye.”  I wanted to cry; began whining to God, and remembered I was fasting.  “Oh Lord, help me.  This is not right.  It is not his fault.  This can’t be that bad.  Just help me find a parking space out on the streets. (breathe……sing….pray…)”  OMG, I’ve never had a hanging parking pass since my Junior year!  I’d bought a sticker pass, and it was neatly situated in the left lower corner of my windshield!  “uh…Honey….(in a humble voice) I’m sorry…I was wrong…please forgive me.”

(sigh) Delilah Phobia is  a fear many men suffer from in our times.  It’s been safer for them to keep their stuff to themselves rather than sharing it and then their spouse use this knowledge against them. Neither of the spouses should be manipulating eachother’s information to gain control, win a spouse vs spouse battle, and definitely not for embarrassing one’s significant other in public/privite times.

Manipulation is serious stuff.  God has a purpose for us.  We are destined to live out His will, BUT He has given us a godly characteristic: free will.  If God, Himself, detains from imposing His will over us for the sake of our free choice, why would He condone a human manipulating the life of another.  It is evil to its core…it is taking God’s standing of viewing a situation and crafting an idea of what we think is best.  The manipulative tongue is smooth and subtle til it achieves its own purpose.

(References from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah S. Pegues)

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